Friday, 5 August 2011

M BooHoo, chapter 5

Mr BooHoo is an imaginary character and this is his imaginary diary, so if you are not familliar with him you'd better start from the start. Scroll down to find previous posts.

Chapter % (5): momentary lack of luck

Mr BooHoo has been doing very well. He's had his ups and downs and he has been to some scary places. (For example, on the previous day he went to take care of his insurance issues. The place where he went was totally miserable. Initially, a clerk told him that he should have an appointment and that this would be a whole month later. Then he probably pitied him and eventually they started the process. When he was about to see the last clerk, a large toothless blond woman was blocking the door  and she would not let him in before her for nothing. She wouldn't let anyone in. Thankfully, the first clerk came out and let him in. He was given a protocol number and was told to phone them at the end of the next month to go and pick up his official booklet. Then he could have insurance. Not that he planed to use it because public hospitals are miserable and dirty. Mr BooHoo has spent some time in them and has decided he never wants to go there ever again. This is rather improbable though. In addition to all the previously said, every time he is in a public hospital he thinks he will catch some new random disease, so he avoids them.)  

Apart from the above, as it has been mentioned he is doing well. He has found a new house and his friend and him are refurbishing it. At the time they are painting the walls and cupboards. Tomorrow they will finish painting and start cleaning and then they can move in. Painting today went well. The bedroom will be light mint green and the corridors will have the colour of the water-melon. The doors will be scarlet! This particular colour provides the basis of today's thrilling story of unsuccessful living.

Everybody knows that painting a house is not an easy task. Yet, Mr BooHoo did not complain one bit about this. When he had finished painting his part of the walls -he is a ... vertically challenged fellow and he is afraid of heights, so, since he does not have a steady ladder he painted the part of the walls he could easily reach while standing on the floor. The higher part were done by his friend.- he was feeling fairly tired and he knew that when he felt as tired as he did things usually start to go wrong. The only thing he could do was start painting the doors in the previously mentioned scarlet red. The paint he used was oil-based. He took a screw-driver and opened the can. The lid popped and landed first on his hand and then on the floor. At this point it should be mentioned that Mr BooHoo has sweaty hands and he managed to get a blister between his thumb and pointer. This blister had broken and this is exactly were the lid of the oil-based paint landed. Firstly he found it amusing. It looked like blood, so red that it was. Then he went to was it. He should have cleaned it with whiter spirit in order to get it properly clean, but that would hurt his blister a lot. So he tried washing it with with shampoo. It hurt a little but not really.

So, so far, most things were all right. After painting a few parts of the door with a brush, he decided to pour some colour on a tray and use a paint-roller to finish it. He tried hard not to spill any more paint on the floor and then.....he poured a tone of it on his hurt hand, again!! This was unfortunate. His hand was so sticky! He swore loudly, as he was ricing it unsuccessfully, it hurt more. What was worst was that he could not really clean it and he would have to stay with this sticky hand.

Eventually, it became too dark to continue working (there are no lamps in the house). He returned home, tired but sort of happy. Now, he would go out with friends for a couple of drinks. I think he deserves to relax for a little while, don't you?       

Monday, 1 August 2011

Mr BooHoo, chapter 4

If this is your first time here I would advise you to start from the beginning. This is not here. Here is the fourth chapter about Mr BooHoo, a disturbed but charming fellow. The original text is in my larger notebook.

Chapter $ (4): meaningless tasks

One of the things that make Mr BooHoo feel sincerely low is the heat. This particular summer, during which our story is taking place, was not so hot and his house was rather cool. Otherwise, Mr BooHoo felt ...ucked. This was because Mr BooHoo had so many things to do that were not fulfilling at all. If anything they were the complete opposite. All his energy was sucked from him as he was obliged to perform meaningless and not creative bureaucratic errands. As if this was not enough all these things stressed him to his limits. He was feeling that he was loosing his marbles. What was odd about Mr BooHoo and his marbles was that he had plenty of physical ones. People just gave him marbles. It might have been because he had an expression of great joy and admiration when he looked at these small orbs. Yet, it was his mental, or symbolic, or theoretical marbles he was getting worried about.

On a not so warm morning, and after he had just returned from a fairly nice weekend by the sea, he left the tranquility of his house to go out and get a few things done. First he had to go by a service where he would get a certificate about his family (marital) status. Most of the clerks were on vacation. Luckily there were not many people there waiting to be served, either. He took a ticket and waited. His turn came and after getting an official round stamp on a photocopy from one desk, he went to another one to take his certificate that should have been there on Thursday, but it wasn't and now it was Monday and it still wasn't there... He asked when he should expect it to arrive and a woman behind a glass window lifted her shoulders and prolonged her face instead of speaking like a civilized being that would say "this information is not available to me" or simply "I don't know".

Mr BooHoo left this place slightly annoyed. On his way to the next public service, his friend bought two kilos of honey! This was supper-cool! While waiting in line for the next bureaucrat his friend found out that the honey-seller had given him extra change. They considered for a little while to return and pay them back, but then they decided that they might as well try to repay them the next time they would be there to buy honey, if it was good enough.

The good friends returned to the house and relaxed for a little. Mr BooHoo was doing well and he was feeling proud of himself! He was not exactly cheerful, but he was not panicking and  neither did he found it hard to breath! After all, spending a weekend away had done him great good. Before leaving he had made an agreement with himself that he would seriously try to relax, stop thinking so much about ugly and harmful things, stop being under so many unnecessary self-imposed rules and in general to "stop worrying today about something he had to do tomorrow". He seemed to have brought all this "positive thinking" back with him, along with the nice little pebbles he had collected from the beach. He had really tried to reach this state of mind. He had taken with him only the absolutely essential and had not triple checked the kitchen and the boiler to make sure they were turned off, as he usually did before leaving the house. (This had caused him some trouble sleeping but it was still a small step towards improvement.) He told himself "I am leaving everything as it is and I shall expect them to be where I left them because this is how it usually goes for most people, most of the times". Now he was back and everything was all right. The black cloud that was usually above his head was further away.

And then his phone rung. It was his landlord. Mr BooHoo had decide to move to a new house. One that would be brighter, with less cockroaches an no mice at all, if possible. It had taken him a month to find one. This meant that since the new month had just started his rent was due. He would not be staying in this house for the whole month though, so Mr BooHoo did not appreciate the fact that he might have to pay the total sum of money and in addition to this, that he might not even get his deposit back. His landlord had been all right so far, so this story too might have a happy ending. He would just have to wait and see. Instead of getting all blue he decide to prepare a light meal and chill in the afternoon. He was determined to start feeling better. Things would just have to wait.